Raising the Bar

A common phrase I hear is raising the bar. If this meant a new drinking establishment was being opened I might be near the front of the line. Alas, it is talking about demanding more from someone. As an educator I hear this from my dean. I believe he means well, but when I address my students asking them to do even the minimum is usually a waste of my time.

We have "raised the bar" many times over the past 20 years. If the bar was as high as we had hoped over time, no one could reach the bar. That might be the problem with raising the bar.

When I was younger I was considered an over-achiever. When one of my superiors raised the bar, I worked harder to get on top. Even when the bar was set for most to attain, I still had the inner desire to be the best. Now days the kids I work with are happy for the most part to pass. Very few try to excel, though they still want good grades.

My theory is that over-achieving parents, of which I am one, have made life easy for their children. When these parents observed their children not excelling, they assume it must be someone else, because as an over-achiever we know it could not be poor parenting. This fosters in our children that they are not responsible for anything. Now I don't think that this is true for all children, some just are happy to get by and work in a standard 8-4/9-5 job. The kids that excel primarily come from one of two backgrounds, low to middle income families and they want to escape or from parents that push and push their kids.

I hope I pushed my kids enough that they self actualize and work to suceed for their own personal reasons. But I know at some point I have felt like I should have pushed them harder.

Please don't raise the bar to high for your kids, but do raise it a little